Anger management is an intervention programme to prevent anger from turning into a habit or obstacle. It enables the person to create an awareness of and responsibility for his/her emotions. This involves two aspects (i) managing one’s own anger (ii) learning to respond effectively to anger in others.
The 3 R’s in anger management a Relax, Reassess and Respond.
1. Relaxation – Relaxation and connection with the inner self helps to enhance thinking and concentration so that we ‘respond’ rather than ‘react’ impulsively.
2. Reassess – This helps the person to revisit the situation objectively. It involves
- taking complete responsibility for your emotion
- developing empathy for the person you perceive has wronged you
- conduct a reality check e.g., is your anger justified given the facts of what happened.
The feeling’s thermometer helps to focus on the extent of anger we are experiencing and helps in the process of reassessment
3. Respond – It entails re-engaging with the other person/situation. Responding involves
- consulting a trustworthy person to get another perspective
- engage in talks with the other party in a calm respectful manner with a willingness to sort out the situation.
- active listening and assertive speaking – Allow the person to express their viewpoint. However, we should stand up for our feeling while exhibiting the same for the other person. The right approach is a practical, positive communication style.
- cage your rage i.e. establish boundaries and moderate your anger – We must guard against escalation of our own anger which may lead us to provoke the other person. Moderation of anger and establishing clear boundaries of interaction with each other is essential.
CASE STUDY – 1 was in the passenger seat and my brother was driving the car. Suddenly, a cyclist swerved right in front after he had failed to observe the red light. This led me to get enraged at this uncalled-for action. Using the 3R technique. I tried to breathe for a few seconds to give me recovery time, i.e. Relaxation. I revisited the situation – Is my anger justified? Was it a genuine error? Is the cyclist hurt? Did the incident cause injury to us or damage to the car.? Is the anger worth my time/effort? Reassess. I allowed my elder brother to handle the situation but also assertively cautioned the teenage cyclist about the dangers of riding in a rash manner, i.e. Respond.
